How Self-Love Keeps Me Sane

Today marks my one year anniversary as a blogger. A year has passed, and a lot has changed. I can say that I grew out of my comfort zone, and during the process, I lost myself. My 9th grade journey (2016) was full of sunshine and better days. It was a time of reconciling with my positive thoughts and completely burying the negative ones. That kind of “Shannen” who was the optimist girl could do any new thing she wanted. Being an optimist was not a mistake but as time went by, I settled in being average and in being cautious of being blinded towards improvement.
                     

Tenth grade came and going out of my comfort zone was my goal. Little did I know that going out of my “zone” recklessly would be the reason for my downfall. I mishandled a couple of problems that had long-term effects. I could have handled those problems better, but I still chose to embrace my slip-ups. I unhealthily pushed myself too hard until I got tired of trying to be better. I always planned my agenda (E V E R Y T I M E) but I always ended up doing nothing.

Since then, I have realized that I was not taking care of myself. It was quite shocking to realize that changing my mindset can affect my whole life. This is the reason why this summer will be all about self-improvement, and I will make myself more productive than I have ever been. Stay with me until the end of the summer, and let us both improve ourselves! ;)

For today’s blog post, I will be sharing some things I frequently do whenever I feel demotivated. These things helped me in overcoming my ~kalat~ stage for the past year.

Note: This is a long post, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. I also hope this post helps you overcome your own struggles!

1.    FIND YOUR OUTLET OF EMOTIONS

I know I am very emotional and sentimental. Letting my feelings out is essential. These are some of my ways on how to deal with those disturbing thoughts:

  a. Write letters to someone whom you want to tell something to, or write to yourself.

Open your Notes App, or get a pen and some paper. Write everything there. Ask all the questions that have been floating around your head. Drain your negative thoughts until there is nothing left. Trust me, this lessens the load.

Next, DUMP IT. Yes, erase it. Once you let everything out, tap that erase button, or dispose of the letter. Do this if you feel they are not worthy of your time. 

If you feel like sending it, why not? As long as it is for your own sake, and as long as it will help you to move forward, then GO FOR IT.

      b. Read self-empowering articles from various blogs!

Credits to The Artidote and Thought Catalog

Read that Thought Catalog article about prioritizing one’s self! It would make a difference to you, I swear. It could lighten up your mood or even motivate you.

Here are some articles from Thought Catalog that made an impact to me:

- https://thoughtcatalog.com/brenda-savoie/2017/08/13-ridiculously-simple-ways-to-cut-negative-thinking-out-of-your-life/

-   https://thoughtcatalog.com/rania-naim/2017/10/im-slowly-learning-that-i-dont-have-to-react-to-everything-that-bothers-me/?utm_campaign=homepage&utm_source=feature&utm_term=rania-naim&utm_medium=text-list

(I also want my blog to empower its readers. Stay tuned for more uplifting blog posts! <3 This year, I want to take a leap in blogging–I want my posts to have more substance and to be more worth reading than my previous ones.)

2.    TAKE A BREAK

When I say you should take a break, I do not necessarily mean you should stop doing what you are passionate about. My kind of break is diverting your energy to an activity that can refresh your mind and soul. This one helps me a lot whenever I feel drained because of school work (a.k.a. every damn time lol).

      a.   Work that booty out!

You can sweat your stress out. Go with a friend to prevent laziness. An hour in the gym could make a difference!

      b.   Take a break from your strict diet plan.

Eat that stressful subject out, grab a donut and a Frappuccino, or explore Maginhawa! 

Credits to Instagram

       c.    Go shopping!

Explore shops, and check if they have products that are on sale. Look for good finds in thrift shops (MY FAVE), or go window shopping with your friends!

Here are some of my pictures wearing clothes that I thrifted!

Credits to Instagram

Credits to Instagram

Credits to Instagram

     d.   Cry

Yes, let your tears fall down your face. THIS IS NORMAL. Pampering yourself does not necessarily mean going out during the weekend. Sometimes, simply crying makes everything better. Acknowledge and validate what you feel.

After these “breaks”, do what you need to accomplish and plan your next “break”. Consider it as your motivation. <3 Keep a journal (it can be a digital one) where you can write down your plans for the week.

3.    INVEST TIME ON YOURSELF.

This concept is ALWAYS misunderstood. Giving more time for yourself does not mean you are being selfish. It means rebuilding your broken walls and making yourself stronger than ever before. Isolating yourself from your family or friends for a short time does not mean you are avoiding them. Sometimes, we need to reflect on our life decisions and to ponder everything alone. No one knows you better than you do.

a.     Go on a self-date!

If you are following me on Instagram or Twitter, you know that I frequently go on self-dates. I do this every time my head is full of toxic thoughts. I usually watch movies on my own and explore new restaurants! Here's my list of "Self Date Ideas around Makati": 

b.     Turn down a few invites if you REALLY feel like it.

There are times when I don’t feel like going out. AND THIS IS OKAY. You can say “no” without being the bad guy. You can choose to just stay in your house on a Friday watching your favorite series.

c.     Treat yourself every week!

I usually treat myself once in a while by buying skin care products or just simply cooking my favorite meal at home. (As long as it fits your budget, why not? Kaloka. You deserve it.)

Credits to Instagram

4.    TALK TO A FRIEND

Credits to Tumblr 

This last tip makes everything light and secure. Communicating with someone can help you and give you a sense of realization. I talk to my friends when I am uncertain about a few things. Most importantly, I talk to God. I tell Him even the slightest thing that has happened to me and I usually seek His help whenever I feel lost. He has always been my greatest friend and defender. I cannot imagine myself being here, talking to you through my blog without Him.

We may not have the same faith, but I am sure that you have someone you can lean on. Someone out there cares for you. You are a ball of sunshine, and I am sure there are people out there that appreciate the light you radiate. Maybe you just don’t notice them. Maybe you just have to find and to reconcile with them.

To end this post, I just want to clarify that “self-love” IS WAY DIFFERENT from being narcissistic. 
Loving yourself does not mean you are minding your own business only. You can love yourself and still care for others. You can love yourself and still be the sweetest person you can be. Loving yourself just means that you know when to walk away and when to stop investing your time & effort on something that is not worth it. 

Credits to Tumblr

• Being narcissistic promotes the feeling of superiority over everything, even other people’s emotions and well-being. 
• On the other hand, self-love promotes acceptance, recognition, and taking care of one’s self without degrading other people. 

I hope this one’s clear. If not, then we can talk to clarify things. My DM’s are open. I’m always up for a talk!

Before I end this post, here's a photo dump of our trip in Zambales. These pictures are the proof that I am finally embracing my body. #SelfLove 

Photography by Sean Justin Calamba
Special Thanks to Ralph Allen Prodigalidad

You can comment or share your thoughts about my blog post! Hope you liked it! 

 - Shannen